Stop me if you've heard this one... it's late. You are up, alert, and wanting something to eat. Assuming you're sober, and I sure hope the individual in this story was, what do you do?

For our story, picture the time is 3 am (because it was). It's way too late to go to Hy-Vee or Walmart as, these post-pandemic days, they're no longer open all night. You can't call up Uber Eats and expect any sort of delivery. Again I ask, what do you do?

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Ohh, a gas station, right? Gas stations are always open. They have to be! They handle weary road warriors at all hours. Truckers... travelers... there's no set hours of operation.

Yes, yes that's it! A gas station! But wait, what are your options if you're in a small town? You may only have two or, tops, three gas stations. While I am not sure which city our 911 call happened in, I know it was Chisago County, Minnesota, which is not a very populated county. So, let's assume it was a very small town.


Chisago County is on the Minnesota/Wisconsin border during the wee hours of Monday, August 15, the sheriff received a 911 call that was urgent... important... and above all, DIRE.

Yep, someone called 911 to inform officers that the Holiday gas station was... dun dun dunnnn.... closed for the night. The sheriff telling the caller to go to Kiwk Trip, known as Kwik Star in Iowa, is about the funniest, but also most obvious, thing a midwesterner could be told.

The above Facebook posting blew up, gaining over 2,000 reactions and hundreds of shares. It's fairly innocuous and uneventful. For all the 911 calls that a sheriff could get at 3 am, this one is about as unimpeachable as they come.

But the bigger question, the follow-up we're all dying to know: what did he get at the Kwik Trip? Hopefully a delicious donut!

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