Nothing says, 'Oh yeah, you can trust this guy with a kid' like this story. There's guy named David Ostrom (who now lives in Paola, Kansas). He has been in a custody battle with his ex-wife, Bridgette Ostrom, from Des Moines, Iowa for some time now.

The Des Moines Register says David has apparently been very frustrated with Bridgette and her attorney, so he's proposed an entirely new way to settle matters... He wants to have a JAPANESE SWORD BATTLE. Whoever wins the duel wins the settlement.

David says he wants to meet his ex-wife, her attorney, or, quote, 'a champion' she chooses, quote, 'on the field of battle, where I will rend their souls from their corporal bodies.'

He just asked that the court give him 12 weeks, quote, 'lead time to source or forge katana and wakizashi swords.' Hm.

Now it's hard to tell if he's serious or not. On one hand, he says he proposed it because, quote, 'I met [my ex's lawyer's] absurdity with my own.' On the other hand, he researched dueling legislation to back up his case, so yeah... he's totally in his right mind.