If Cedar Rapids Bars Were Cedar Rapids Girls
There are a ton of bars in Cedar Rapids. So many bars that it's hard to keep track of them all. I decided to start giving them names.....girls names. Here's my first batch of 5 bars and the girls they remind me of. No offense given, no offense taken.
Her name is Roxie. She's been in trouble with the law and currently is on probation. Wasn't much. He just shouldn't have said that last thing he said. Anyway, she smokes Marlboro Reds and drinks Bud Heavy. Roxie works third shift at ADM.
Barbbi is a "Westie." She's been up and down the Ave more times than the sand spreader. In fact, in High School, her boyfriend Rod and her used to cruise seven days a week in the summer. If she could wear a tube top 370 days a year, she would. She's a tall blonde who smokes menthol cigarettes, the cheap kind. She drinks Bacadri and Pepsi. Oh, I almost forgot. She's addicted to touchplay machines and scratchers.
Let me introduce you to Buffy. She's kinda busy right now, she's taking a picture of her food...or her little lap dog, whom she's dressed up. She loves to dance, in fact she was a cheerleader in high school. She lives for the weekend and spends half her money on that. The other half goes to therapy bills. Oh, did I mention that she might be dating her therapist? Yeah. That'll end well.
It's time for you to meet Taylor! She's an All-American girl, grew up outside of Independence on a farm and dates a farm boy. She loves to come into the big city (in her Chevy truck) for a little fun now and then, and when she does she kicks her heels up. She doesn't smoke, but she does chew tobacco. I'm also guessing she can drink you right under the table....She majored in Two-Step and has several line dances named after her.
Let me tell ya about Sandi! Her favorite time to drink is Sunday morning. While everyone else is a church, she can have the place to herself. She's got a husband, 2.5 kids, and makes $30K a year. She smokes when she's been drinking. Then, she takes long car rides to get rid of the smell of the smoke. Almost forgot...she has a cat, his name is Felix. Do you want to hear the story about her tattoo?
Next week: If Cedar Rapids Bars were Cedar Rapids Guys! *STAY TUNED*