Here’s a Horrible Take on the Biggest D-Bag in Every State in the USA

Gotta love a "Top 50 in the USA" list across the Independence Day Weekend. Thrillist has published one featuring the top Douchers across the land. Click here and be an Amazed American. Or, be pissed off at more online blather.

Author Matt Lynch must be a sports fan because he includes quite a few athletes. Wrong move, Mr. L. Athletes are predominately douchers. While super fantastic in between the lines, they are generally one-dimensional and boring outside of competition. Jameis Winston? Rapist, but who cares. Lots of quarterbacks are. Curt Shilling? Outside of the bloody sock, no one even remembers this guy.

Barry Switzer? Phil Jackson? Stupid choices.

Lynch lists Iowa's top D-bag as Ashton Kutcher. Are you friggin' kiddin' me? He's our hero! Grows up in E. IA, becomes a global superstar and marries Demi Moore AND Mila Kunis. He's the guy who told a bunch of kids that hard work pays off. We should be proud "Chris" is from here and still visits and gives back. What about Prince Farming? Wouldn't he be in the Top 2?

Craig Kilborn makes the Missouri list. He's literally been AWOL for a decade and a half. He was cool as shat back in the day. What makes him a modern-day doucher? Does anyone even know where he is?

Billy Ray Cyrus has a high d-bag quotient, but the majority of Country & Western artists are. His home state of KY is has a boatload. Ever been there? OK, Ashley Judd is not a d-bagger. Speaking of women, why only a couple on this list?

Thrillist should give us our money back for wasting 10 minutes of our lives. And add an "L" to their name.