dumb criminals

A thief who stole 17 tubes of Pringles in a series of burglaries and shop thefts had one answer to police as to why he pulled off the crime - "once you pop, you can't stop."

I don't know how many times we have to say this, how many stories we have to write, how many criminals we have to laugh about - STOP CALLING THE COPS WHEN SOMEONE STEALS YOUR DRUGS.

A "heavily intoxicated" Florida man was arrested on Saturday night for calling 911 over his girlfriend. She wanted some Sour Patch Kids.

Of all the things to steal from a grocery store... Three would-be thieves grabbed a cart full of Hot Pockets and Slim Jims and then took off after knocking the store manager unconscious.

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. Well, this guy felt hot was the better way to go.

What's that they say about it's the size of the fight in the dog, not the size of the dog in the fight?