Laugh So Hard You’ll Blow a Fuse: The Funniest Iowa-Inspired Firework Names [GALLERY]

It's that time of the year again! The crops are in the fields, the sweat beads are dripping down our faces... It's summertime in Iowa!

We're heading to the most patriotic, and often most fun, weekend (this year it happens to be on a weekend, anyway) of the year: Fourth of July.

Between fireworks shows done by the pros and the ones done by your (hopefully sober) neighbors, this year's Fourth is going to be a memorable one because I've got some funny, albeit not real, Iowa-inspired fireworks names.

Iowa-Inspired Fireworks: Patriatism and Chuckles

If you frequent our site, you've likely seen a list of funny real fireworks sold in Iowa. These are all actual names. None are Iowa-inspired, however.

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Our list is... not so real. Now, you can theoretically call your 'works whatever you want. So, pretend you're lighting off Cobzilla this year. We encourage it.

READ MORE: Bummer! This Eastern Iowa Fireworks Show is Officially Cancelled

If you think there's a perfect firework name that didn't make the list, please let us know on social media!

And Now... a Radio Commercial (Gotta Sell the Hype!)

Before we get to our list of 14 incredibly Iowa fireworks, how about a commercial for the (fake) store selling these fireworks?

Okay, in your BEST over-the-top radio announcer voice:

This Fourth of July, skip the snooze-fest and come BLOW STUFF UP the Iowa way at Big Randy’s Boom Barn, home of the most questionable fireworks this side of the Mississippi!

We’ve got all your redneck-rocket needs! From the Shuck & Awe Corn Cannon to the barn-shaking Udder Destruction! That’s right, it MOOOOS before it BLOWS!”

Feeling spicy? Try the Pork Tenderbang™, it explodes, it sizzles, and it smells lightly of fried fair food. Don’t miss the Busch Light Banger! She comes with a koozie and a court summons.

New this year: the Slipknot Sizzler, nine bursts of fire, one for each mask… and your cousin Trent will try to light it with a cigarette.

Big Randy’s Iowa Boom Barn: located just past the Casey’s, where the pavement ends! Cash, check, or bucket of sweet corn accepted!

Light it loud, light it proud. Big Randy’s, because Iowa doesn’t do ‘quiet.’

Check 'Em Out

Here is our list! Because Iowa doesn’t do quiet, and neither do these ridiculous firework names.

These are fireworks so fake, you can practically smell the sweet corn and Busch Light...

READ MORE: Can You Throw Away Used Fireworks Canisters? Read This First

Iowa inspired frieworks!