The Onion is undoubtedly one of the best and foremost resources of satirical news in the country. the articles that The Onion releases are topical and hilarious.

On this, the opening day of the Iowa State Fair, we turn to The Onion for an article that will incite pride in any "real Iowans" out there who want to keep the splendors of the state to themselves. The headline states:

"Iowa State Fair Guards Told To Shoot Non–Iowa Residents On Sight"

According to the article, police spokesman Sgt. Jonathan Davey said:

The state fair is for Iowans and for Iowans only. They’re the only ones who deserve to celebrate our rich history, salute our local growers, and look at our huge Butter Cow. The rest deserve to die.

Hopefully, they will consider me an Iowa resident even though I'm a new transplanted southerner...

Also...Where's the line to see this butter cow?