‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Is The Worst Thing In The World Ever

Grey’s Anatomy has been on the air for ten years.  After doing some quick calculations, I have determined that this is ten years too many.  My diagnosis: Grey’s Anatomy is a flaming pile of garbage.

My wife, like a lot of women out there, is a fan of Grey’s Anatomy.  Or, as it’s often referred to, just “Grey’s”.  As in, “Did you see ‘Grey’s’ last night?”  “Oh my God, yes!  I can’t believe McDreamy!”  It’s disturbing.  How can anybody like this?  Anyways, Thursday nights can be a tumultuous time in the Hahn household.  The wife will quietly click to ABC at 7pm, and I feel my body shudder with disgust.  It’s the same thing every week.  Within a couple minutes, I can’t stop myself from insulting the show’s insipid formula of actors over-loaded with drama and emotion.  Then, one of two things happen.  Either my wife gets upset and goes to watch it in our bedroom, or I catch myself before I completely piss her off and I retire to a different part of the house.  It is physically impossible for me to watch the show without praying for Armageddon.

Grey’s Anatomy is an hour of over-acting, weepy doctors and nurses, and did I mention the drama?  The actors talk with constant sass and cattiness.  And, like clockwork, there’s that emotional song that comes fading in at just the right emotional moment.  Barf!  Then, to cap off this weekly crap-fest, Meredith Grey (played by Ellen Pompeo) comes in with a voice-over at the end of every show and wraps every stupid thing up from the past 60 minutes with a shallow, moronic soliloquy.  Cram it, Meredith.

Recently, I was very pleased to hear that they killed off Patrick Dempsey’s character, Dr. Derek Shepherd.  The character’s nickname was “McDreamy”.  More like McDouchebag.  I was so excited to hear about this McTragedy.  When I heard they killed off his character, I had a lot of questions.  Was it painful?  Did he suffer?  Gee, I hope so.

In early May, it was announced that Grey’s Anatomy would be back for a twelfth season, taking it into 2016.  One more question.  Why God?  Why?