Five Signs of the Perfect Cedar Rapids Basic Bitch
We see you everywhere. We love you for being real. We admire your no-BS way of dealing with life. You know what you want, and you find a way to get it.
You are the Perfect Cedar Rapids Basic Bitch. Here are the five dead giveaways:
You LOVE Pumpkin Spice EVERYTHING
Fall is your favorite time of year. Cooler temps, Iowa Football and new wardrobe fashions. And your colorist swears you are natural ‘autumn’. But Pumpkin Spice takes the cake…and the coffee!
And why stop at Pumpkin Spice Latte? You’ve got candles and potpourri, soaps, and ice cream. I swear there were pumpkin spice pencil erasers at Target!
Sure, you know that if you put the right amount of cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg into anything it becomes pumpkin spice. When you’re feeling edgy, you even try to dust in a little ginger and clove.
You’re even cool knowing that most pumpkin spice doesn’t even have any pumpkin in it.
A trip to Target is better than THERAPY
It’s more than just shopping for laundry soap, mascara, pet food, and m&m’s.
It’s the casual afternoon stroll through housewares. It’s getting bonus shop kick points just for stopping in.
You can actually feel it lowering your blood pressure.
Never mind that the clearance items are never really that good of a clearance price…
Your life would be complete if you never had to set foot into another Wal Mart again.
You Go Big for YOGA
It’s OK to admit it. You stick to the back of the room for only one reason. To judge others.
Those yoga pants are comfy and your juicy booty has bounce. So there’s no need to stress over your less-than-perfect downward dog.
Others are not watching you. You’re watching them!
Your Instagrams and Snap Chats simply ROCK
You have more than one “look” down. Your selfies are spectacular! Look at you, you’re adorable!
You being stunning is the most undisputed fact of your life. Is it possible you could go viral?
You speak fluent HGTV
You know the Secret Code of DYI. You’re a natural fixer upper! They want proof? Look at your hubs. Now that took work!
You’re up for the challenge. Awkward Corners? They’re no match for you – it’s functional space just waiting to be unleashed!
House Hunters Renovations and the 2017 Dream Home are all you think about…when you’re not busy figuring out how you could flip that flop of a neighbor’s house for under $5k.