The old adage applies to tomorrow's tax deadline. There are two assurances in life: Death & Taxes.

I've some other guarantees...

  • Tool will stay in their 3rd trimester through 2014.
  • The Emerald Ash Borer will ransack my backyard therefore causing my air conditioning bill to skyrocket.
  • 49'er Aldon Smith will add "FIRE" to his blurting bio in a movie theater within 2 years.
  • Marion will never re-think it's 40-gallon trash bin policy and I'll have to fill mine with dog crap and take it to the dump.
  • Byron Buxton will be a superstar in the bigs and make Target Field a popular playoff destination for Twins fans.
  • FFDP will embarrass themselves with at least 2 more covers in their career.
  • Sump pump salesmen will stay happy in Iowa for the longterm.
  • 70-yard field goal will happen in the NFL by 2018.
  • Even as we frack our freaking frackers out in the Dakotas and Texas, prices at the pump will be unchanged.

Your postmark deadline is Midnight CT tomorrow. Say hi to that freaky chick at the CRPO.