Modern Day Gladiators

Football is back. Modern day gladiators will once again take to the gridiron once a week to bang their skulls together for our entertainment. The old school gladiators that fought to the death in the Roman Coliseum were hugely popular too, probably for the same reasons we love football today -- because we love competition. Society really loves violent competition, and it’s just out of this world stupendous if we can take it all in while sitting down, gorging ourselves with pizza.

The players risk crippling, debilitating injuries while we… eat a lot of cheese in a recliner. The athletes wake up on Monday morning with bruises and severe muscle soreness and we show up at our jobs on Monday morning in a meat coma. The players suffer torn ACL’s and we just strain our vocal chords yelling at the screen. They risk shortening their lives with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, we risk shortening our lives by eating 48 wings lathered in Colon Cleaner hot sauce (yes, there is a product called Colon Cleaner hot sauce). Oh yes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.